Google: Making Us All Hypochondriacs Since 1998

If you Google any combination of the following symptoms:

– Swollen lymph nodes in the neck
– Headache
– Stiffness in neck and back
– Slight fever
– Aches
– Fatigue

You may have the following diseases:
– Cat scratch fever (I didn’t even know this was real)
– Mononucleosis
– Lyme disease
– Scarlet fever
– Tuberculosis
– Plague (this has to be my personal favorite)
– Lymphoma (cancer in your lymphatic system/immune system)

So, since Google has been right about so many other things, I was sure that I had some unheard of, chronically fatal, mega-disease (which I have recently termed ‘Cat Scratch Scarlet Plague-oma, with Lyme’). Somewhere in my ridiculously hectic weekend I found some time to at least see a nurse practitioner, hoping they would be able to recognize the signs and symptoms of my certain death. You would never BELIEVE the diagnosis. . .

“You’re tired. And not getting enough sleep. And maybe not eating as well as you could be. Go home, take a nap and eat an apple. If your lymph nodes are still swollen in ten days or symptoms get worse, make an appointment to see the doctor.

And stop Googling your symptoms.”

And no lies on that last line, he honestly said that. So, so far I have not woken up dead and I feel that I am on the road to recovery.


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