And Then I Didn’t Actually Post Anymore That Day. . . Because I Napped

So, I wrote an update about the pattern of future updates, and then did not follow through. Lame. Apologies. Starting over. . . NOW!

The Love Affair is Over. Over.

The Perks of Working at Caribou:
1. Somewhat flexible hours, often leaving half of the day open to do whatever Mugwumps enjoy doing in their half-days.
2. A half-pound of free coffee each week and a free fancy drink each shift. Unlimited drip brew during my shift (if they knew how much I had some days, they might think about altering this formula.)
3. Discounts on purchased items, including merchandise, beverages, bulk beans, and bakery.

This post will focus on the bakery items, of which I only pay 70% of retail value for, and particularly the French Toast Muffin.

Here’s a funny sub-story: I was going to put a picture of the delicious French Toast Muffin here, but all of the photos I could find online of it were “unavailable” and the first thing I thought was, ‘Of course, because even just looking at them makes you fat.’)

French Toast Muffin specs: sugar and cinnamon swirls baked into a fluffy moist batter, with s beautiful slight crunch on top, over which maple drizzle zig zags gracefully. Ah-mazing. Amazing. Aaaaaand, with my employee discount this little gem was only $1.46, a little money for a lot of muffin.

So, I was buying one of these most shifts. I mean, I run and I am on my feet all day at work and I always work over some meal time, so this seemed not completely wrong. Until I perused the nutrition facts on the Caribou website. And you know what? If I ate 4 of these in one day, which no human has the gastrointestinal fortitude to do, I would not be recommended to eat another thing that day. “Why?” you ask. Because the French Toast Muffin of Wonder and All Things Sugary Delicious contains within its moist little self 490 calories. And thus has become the French Toast Muffin of Deceit and All Things Rottingly Fattening.

I am sorry, French Toast Muffin, it’s not me, it IS you and we are breaking up. I know you didn’t really do anything wrong, but I have to do what is right for me this time and I am walking away. Please don’t be jealous when I spend mornings with the Banana Bread of Rebound Bakery Items.

It’s over.

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