Every day of the year is a holiday in the US, some are just more celebrated than others. Christmas? 4th of July? Very popular, well-celebrated, lots of associated store closings. Well, this morning I saw that it was National Hanging Out Day, which had me totally excited to call everyone I knew and hang out. What a relaxed, chill holiday. Today is the day we just hang out.
Not true. Today is the day you are supposed to share your bloomers with the neighbors and hang your laundry out and I supposed National Bugs in Your Britches Day didn’t have quite the same crowd-pleasing ring. Go figure. So while being epically disappointed that I was not going to have the chance to just hang out due to national holiday standards, I looked for some more holidays that I could celebrate in the next few weeks. Here’s what I came up with:
April 22, Earth Day: A lot of people celebrate this, so I am feeling sort of less special but this is also Chemists Celebrate Earth Day. Because apparently they didn’t know they were included in plain ol’ Earth Day…?
April 23, Book Day: That’s a good one. Friday, we read! Even if it is a textbook.
April 24, National Bulldogs are Beautiful Day: Aren’t they, though? There is nothing more charming than a smooshed, wrinkly face, sinus problems, and drool.
April 25, Malaria Awareness Day: Like Earth Day, this one matters. This is a good one. It is important to remember that it was not that long ago in our history that malaria was a threat in the United States and it could come back if we don’t keep acting to reduce it in the global population. [Huh, that’s where that soap box went.]
April 26, Hug an Australian Day: Well if I’m not planning on being the most enthusiastic celebrator of this holiday, I don’t know who is.
April 26, Richter Scale Day: Little known fact– the Richter scale isn’t really used by earthquake experts anymore, but it is still used because the media and the public understand it better.
April 29, The Anniversary of the Zipper: Well hallelujah for that blessed invention.
May 1, National Homebrew Day: Now, I certainly don’t know how to homebrew, but I would certainly be willing to help a talented homebrewer celebrate if they needed me.
May 2, National Truffles Day: Another double-meaning holiday that actually means the less awesome choice. National Truffles Day has nothing to do with gourmet chocolate poofs of goodness… it means the things pigs root up. On May 2, be sure to wish everyone you know a Happy Edible Fungus Day!
May 3, National Day of Prayer: I have renamed this day in the spirit of all-inclusiveness to “National Day of Prayer (Or Not, You Don’t Have To).” Thanks democracy and freedom of choice. You rock.
May 7, National Roasted Leg of Lamb Day: Oh. My. God. Why did I NEVER KNOW ABOUT THIS BLESSED HOLIDAY OF DELICIOUS GOODNESS?! This could only be matched with a National Taco Day (Week?).
May 8, No Socks Day: This is everyday. Socks are gross– your feet want to be liberated.
May 9, National Butterscotch Brownie Day: Whoever comes up with the food-related holidays should be sainted.
May 11, Eat What You Want Day: Again, this is everyday. It’s okay to eat what you want. It’d be great if you sometimes wanted a vegetable.
May 12, Kite Day: Get yourself a stiff breeze and a friend to run about with a fabric square looking like an idiot. It will be an excellent afternoon– guaranteed.
May 17, National Cherry Cobbler Day: Renamed to: Katie’s Graduation Day!
May 24, National Escargot Day: Mmm, snails. So gooey. And chewy. Had them once while I was in France. That was enough. Will celebrate this day only in spirit, in fondness of my travels.
May 28, National Hamburger Day: Coincidently falls on National Whale Day. Touche, holiday-naming body of the federal government, touche.
May 31, Speak in Complete Sentences Day: I agree.