December 26– Soul food. What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went in to your mouth and touched your soul?
Now, I am positive that the following answer was not at all what this author was hoping to inspire out of all the Reverb-ers out there. But this is something I will certainly not forget for a very long time.
November 11 is Veteran’s Day and as a government employee, I have to take the day off whether I like it or not. This year it was on a Thursday, awkwardly interrupting my week and forcing me to try to be productive on the lonely Friday workday that would follow.
So, in Mugwump fashion, I griped about having to take the day off. I waxed on quite dramatically about how I would MUCH rather take the Friday off instead, and since I am not a veteran, should I really get a day off at all?
By the afternoon of the preceding Wednesday, I had warmed to the idea of a whole day off from work (guilt free!) and even made a few plans so I didn’t spend my day off on the couch eating tortilla chips.
But all of that changed with the most fateful and unforgettable lunch of 2010: pre-packaged sushi. At 2 AM on November 11, I awoke with a mild crampy stomach and stretched myself and tried to go back to sleep. 10 minutes later, the pain was unbearable and had me balled into the fetal position. Shortly after, I found myself crying into the toilet bowl, vomiting the entire contents of my stomach. Like clockwork through the morning, I would wake up on the hour and vomit the meager contents of my stomach, until about 7 AM when I simply dry heaved until I could no longer take it. I tried to drink water to stay hydrated, but to no avail. It was simply expelled with the next hourly installment of the Great Gastrointestinal Cleanse of 2010. And that continued for most of my vacation day, which I ended up spending on the couch, now totally exhausted, unable to eat or drink, too weak to move, and most distressing: hungry.
I wasted my whole day of forced vacation, had to take the following Friday off from work as well, and felt generally like a greasy pile of sludge (and HUNGRY) through the entire weekend.
I haven’t gone in to every detail about those four days, particularly the heaving of Day 1, because I’d be shocked if you would stay and read through all of that. It’s not very “holiday spirit” of me either, particularly for those of you who may have overindulged on the Christmas cookies and baked hams and are feeling a little gut-busty yourselves. But let me tell you, while I think the author was looking for me to share a story of some exotic food discovery or to confess about the day I fell in love with Chobani greek yogurt, this sushi really touched my soul this year.
All 28 intestinal feet of my soul.