To be fair, I am not failing at being unemployed, in as much as I am still not going to a job in which I exchange hard work, talent, and the occasional joke for monetary compensation and health insurance.
Let’s start with the things I have done right in unemployment:
I do make my bed every day. I do the dishes every day. I have contributed to the cleanliness of my apartment every day. These are mostly symptoms of the fact that I am spending a lot of time in my apartment every day. Spend 14 waking hours in your home and it is easy to spare 40 minutes to make the bed, do the dishes, and sweep the bathroom.
I have also managed to go outside every day, between errands and appointments that have beckoned me to leave the house. These are little blessings in disguise and really break up my day.
Dance parties every day? That’s a given. That’s what I do in my normal life, who are we kidding.
Things I have done less right:
I think it is physically impossible to actually sleep for 8 hours a night unless I have the flu. The only way this is likely to happen is if I drug myself, and I think that taking drugs while I hang at home by myself with my cat with no job is not a very good idea. Plus, I can’t afford gratuitous drugs.
I have made some progress on looking for work, but 90 minutes is a pretty long time. The goal for the weekend/next week? Research the department of the U that has offered to interview me. Read everything they ever wrote. Brand myself as the perfect poster child for their work.
I haven’t gotten a library card, volunteered, taken a class, or gone to the museum. Perhaps my unemployment list was ambitious? I argue (with) myself, that I still have time. My only hope on the horizon is an interview that happens next Friday. That gives me all week next week. There’s time.
Where I really feel like a failure is in the kitchen. I promised to make homemade yogurt, but I don’t have a kitchen thermometer or milk. I promised to make bread, but I am daunted/am missing half the dry ingredients necessary.
So, I thought I would start a little simpler. Get ‘back on the bike’ with some familiar recipes. I was thinking chocolate chip cookies, but I also bought a cake mix and ready-to-spread frosting.
So, when I went to make chocolate chip cookies, I discovered I had no brown sugar and no baking powder. Pantry fail. But, I wasn’t too discouraged because I had that cake mix and I bought some super cute sprinkles. Everyone loves cupcakes with sprinkles.
And guess what? Cupcakes require vegetable oil. Guess what I don’t have?
Total kitchen fail.
I managed to make grilled cheese and tomato soup. The cheese was pre-sliced and the soup came from a can. I still burnt the bread when I ignored the sandwich in the pan for too long.
Well, here’s hoping I don’t starve on Day 5.