To the man at the co-op grocery,
I am sorry I gave you a handful of dirty looks after you followed me into one aisle and then the next. You probably thought that I thought that you were a serial killer or a rapist or some horrible cosmetics tester that was going to burn my skin off with some new ‘fountain of youth’ make up. While I do watch more true crime TV than is normal (or healthy), I assure you I thought none of those things.
You see, in the meat and cheese section you picked up one of these:
And you were probably thinking:
But I was feeling a bit more like you had one of these in your basket:
So, I am sure you are a nice guy. And you had no idea I was terrified of fish. Terrified. And I bet as I type this, you have that sucker a’sizzlin’ on your grill. And I salute you, as my favorite type of fish is a dead fish.
But I did not appreciate you following me around the store. And we cannot be friends.