I love Aaron a lot. I mean, like, a lot.
I knew this when I went to Florida on vacation with 2 friends (who are also my bridesmaids!) only a few months after Aaron and I started dating and at the pool I bemoaned, “I really wish he would just say the ‘L word’* already because I am dying to say it to him. Dying.”
I knew it when I impulse bought a kitty and then cried and cried to my mom that Aaron would hate the cat and would break up with me. I even said to the cat on the car ride back to my apartment, “Man, I hope I didn’t just ruin my life and only have a miserable orange cat to show for it.” And Aaron does hate the cat. But he stuck around. And now the cat ruins everyone’s life.**
And I knew he loved me right back when he took me to ER with little complaint in the middle of the night. I knew when he said he just really couldn’t wait any longer to propose. I knew when we moved in together and it felt like The Most Right Thing. And I knew that was the love that would be the focus of our wedding.
Which is actually kind of a shame, because there is so much other love going on. Wedding planning, it turns out, is filled with all kinds of very patient and very kind love on the part of dozens of other people, outside the relationship. I have more than once dumped some planning woes on already-married friends with a sort of exasperated “Is this normal?!” I have relied on many text messages or Facebook chats to remind me that This Very Big Insurmountable Awful Thing of Horror and ‘ARE YOU SERIOUS?!’ is actually nbd (no big deal). And I have just eaten up the love of my parents who are honest when they say they will be happy with anything as long as it makes us happy. Because even if you hear a million times “It’s YOUR day and YOU can do whatever YOU want,” the truth is, you just want to know that you very first friends are going to love the day you have envisioned, just as it is.
And the love of your closest friends, the ones that wake up early on a Saturday morning to practically throw a party to plan a party, the ones who have their own real lives with real problems but are at the very least good at faking that they want to hear about your centerpieces… again!; this love makes me want to throw them all a wedding. Dating, engaged, single, already married, whatever they be. Because the love that says, “I am going through some absolute, Grade A life-shit right now but I am going to put it aside and be genuinely excited for you”? That love is totally unreal. And overwhelming. And wonderful.
And that love is as much deserving — if not more — as wedded love of a great big, excellent celebration.
*Yep, I said “L word” out loud in a very real way in my mid-twenties. Very mature and classy, I know.
**Just kidding. Sort of.