Wedding Wednesday: Registries

A quick little post today because, you know, Real Life is not talking about your wedding all the time and this week is full of VITs (Very Important Things) that are not internet and blogging. Let us, however, take a moment to discuss the Wedding Registry.

Registering for your wedding wish list once meant going to the store, arguing about which set of glassware you wanted, scanning a set neither of you really like with lightsaber barcode scanner, and dreading the day you open 2 dozen boxes of matching plates. Could you even register for wedding gifts before there was barcode scanning technology? I don’t even know, I can’t imagine a world before barcodes.

But even barcode scanners are sort of a thing of the past– Aaron and I built our various registries in our pajamas watching extreme sports films in our basement on a Saturday night.* Except for the time we went to REI and let a guy overload some backpacking packs and we ‘hiked’ around the camping section of the store, myself resembling the chubby kid in the movie Up!

We’ve had a few misadventures. First, when looking at towels and bedding, we discovered that Crate & Barrel only sells one collection at a time online. How is that a good business practice? Not everyone is going to like the seafoam green and black comforter with the whirlygigs all over it. In fact, I would be stunned if anyone liked it. Of course, we could go to the store to see the other collections, but real pants and leaving the couch and can’t bring a beer along… nope, not really interested.

Our second misadventure happened with local favorite, Target. Despite being leaders in many things Department Store That Eats All Your Money, Target’s website might be the worst thing I have ever in my life encountered. And I remember some of those 1996 webpages! So of course, I was not surprised when creating a registry was inconvenient and cumbersome and I was forced to wade through 145 options for the search term “cake pan.” What I was not expecting, though, was for Target to see that I was registering for a meat baster on a self-identified wedding registry and said, “Oh! I see you registered for this Deluxe Meat Baster! Other products you might like include: This carseat! This diaper genie! This set of baby onesies! And!!! We’ve added this stroller to your registry already!” If either of our mother’s has a heart attack upon opening our registry, I know exactly what happened. Who adds baby stuff to a wedding registry?! How heteronormative, traditionalist, and presumptious of you, Target. Tsk tsk.

The other sort of road block we have had is that, at 27 years old, each having lived on our own for some time, we have a lot of stuff. In fact, we have too much stuff. So curses to anyone who buys us another damned coffee cup or measuring cup/spoon set. We are up to our eyeballs in cookie sheets, we have a family heirloom set of china, we don’t need bamboo salad forks (hmm, maybe we do…). It is hard to think of things to put on a registry when you have most of the things that make your household go ’round already. Enter: REI. The greatest outdoors store ever. Aaron and I would like to embark on some Big Adventures together in the next few years, one of which is a possible backpacking trip in a National Park. We have a little practice, but not all the gear we need. So in addition to walking around like idiots with fully loaded packs in an outdoors store in the middle of winter, we registered for some other handy outdoor items, like new sleeping mats that roll up ultra-small, a lightweight camp stove, camp dishes, a first aid kit, and a poop trowel.

You read that right. Because nothing says wedded bliss (and environmental conservation and respect!) like receiving a poop trowel for your wedding. Here’s to many years of healthy digestion and successfully keeping the bears off your scent! Prost!

But really, the most fun part of registering is finding all the stuff you don’t want, but realize that somewhere, someone does. Below is the result of a simple search because I thought it would be fun to have some cheese knives.

Bunny Cheese Knives, Set of 4
Bunny cheese knives. Terrifying. (Available at Williams-Sonoma).

Really? Really?!

If you want to see what we have registered so far (or to secure the poop trowel as your gift now!), you can see our registries, meet our wedding party, and read our dog’s guest blogs at

Happy Wednesday, friends!


*Yep, that is exactly how we roll on Saturday nights actually.


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