Lordy lordy lordy.
It is apparent to me that I have a habit of making big life changes in pairs. This probably needs to stop. I officially started a new job last Monday and I am excited, challenged, a little confused, and very very busy. When I am at work, there’s a little voice in my head that says, “Psst. Who’s going to stand in the receiving line in the church hallway? You don’t know? You don’t know?! Email Aaron right now and then freak out when he doesn’t email you back in 30 seconds with a perfect answer. So what if he is at work.” In a meeting, that voice says, “Where on Earth do you think you are going to get your nails done? Tell me the last time you went to a nail salon? 2006, maybe? You better do a Google search of every single spa or salon in South Minneapolis or Saint Paul and pick one. Right now.” As soon as I get home, that voice changes her tune and whispers, “Tomorrow, when you get to work you have so many emails to send. In fact, you’re pretty far behind. You should sit here and panic about that.”
The Little Voice* and I are breaking up today.
Overall, I am taking things in true Katie Fashion– completely underreacting or completely overreacting. I do think I am still erring on the side of underreacting and I hope I can keep it that way. Fingers crossed (pass the whiskey).
To say that my emotions are a bit close to the surface would probably be an understatement. Aaron described me as ‘on the brink’ and my eyes got wide, I shoved another big piece of chocolate in my mouth and said, “Yeff! Esac’ly. The brink…”
Today, I drove to work because I really wanted 30 minutes to sing at the top of my lungs. No fewer than 3 songs made me break down in tears. Not sad tears, mind you. Some happy tears, some overwhelmed tears, some just… tears. Here’s what’s got me going this morning:
Nothing like waiting to the last minute to get what could be the most important piece of the day done… but we sent a draft to our Pastor after finding some verses that were a little more our speed. Now I just have to create the program… Go Go Gadget Graphic Design!
Had a fitting last week and another scheduled for tonight– it is coming together so nicely! I don’t want to toot my own horn, but I picked a lovely dress (with the help of some lovely ladies) that fits my personality so well, so… toot toot!
The Thank Yous
Oy. There are so many to send. I hope we get them all out by Christmas. Ann Landers said I have a year from the date of the wedding, but if you still haven’t gotten a thank you from me by October 2014, just give me a swift kick.
In my ongoing quest to be a chill, relaxed bride (how am I doing? not well? ha.) I was all, “I am going to do my own make-up. I want to be comfortable and natural and I think I got this.” But when what you wear most days is just mascara and chapstick and on your ‘done-up’ days is just powder foundation, blush, mascara and chapstick, the chasm between ‘what you do now’ and ‘wedding-appropriate make up’ is huge. Hugely huge. But, hello, there’s The Internet. Which is chock-full of easy make-up tutorials, right? Right. So last night I gathered all the make-up I had, which turned out to be almost none, and set to work to try to use some eye shadow, eyeliner, and more ‘dramatic’ blush and lip color. Guess how that turned out?
I called a professional. After scrubbing my face with
steel wool a lot of soap. Of course, I am going to pay double because when she asked, “Well, do you want a trial run?” I was all, “Do you honestly think I want to be surprised by my own face on my wedding day?! TRIAL RUN.”
In the midst of all this, there is still so much magic. The support from our friends and family in these final days has been immense (and, no surprise, has even moved me to tears a time or two).
The ‘church ladies’ hosted a wonderful Hawaiian-themed bridal shower where they shared memories of Aaron when he was a kid. When you have only really known someone for two-and-a-half years, it is a blessing to hear about what they were like as a kid– the ways he has matured, the way he has stayed the same, and how he still wears some of the same Hawaiian shirts he wore in high school. It was a great reminder of our community; how loved and supported we each are as individuals and as a couple.
As you might remember, I was struggling with finding verses to be read at the ceremony that fit Aaron and I well. I emailed Bridesmaid Melissa, who I admire so much in her ability to eloquently express and share her faith, and just asked if she had any ideas. I was honestly floored by what she sent, because not only did she send beautiful verses that really fit Aaron and I, she sent wonderful explanations of each describing why she chose it and her (better) understanding of the verse and the context. It is the very simple acts of love like these that we have received from friends that really impact me the most.
Even if everything else fell apart on our wedding day, our little community is so awesome that it is going to be enough just to be with them. That is what gets me through.
24 more days. Only 3 more Wedding Wednesdays. Lordy. Next week, maybe we should talk about things we shouldn’t say to a bride 3 weeks before her wedding? I have a list a-brewin’ already…
*I am not literally hearing voices. Though I did watch a bunch of crappy reality TV about haunted houses and now wake up in the middle of the night out of total and complete fear. Whoops.