You know that phrase about you that goes If He brings you to it, He’ll bring you through it? I have no problem with the through it part, but… um… could we take a bit easier path? ‘Cause I see how you might be bringin’ me through it, but I feel a little like You’re dragging me by my toes over some rocks and through some thorns, and I can’t help but think You made a better way some time in those seven days of creating things…
I won’t lie (what’s the use? You’re almost as good at lie-detecting as Mom), when I decided to write this I wasn’t interested in starting with many thanks. I was ripe to give you a good ol’ piece of my mind. In fact, after the few
meltdowns tantrums disturbances this week with the tears and the hysterics, I bet Aaron is about ready to give you a piece of his mind, too.
But I guess that is as good a place to start as any, so I will still start with some thanks. Thank you for Aaron. Thank you for allowing our paths to cross in December 2010, for giving us the confidence to be secure in our own weirdness and love and respect the others’ weirdness. Thank you for still giving us arguments and misunderstandings so we can continue to learn and grow from one another and be reminded that even if I have to have the same fight over cleaning the house for the rest of my ever-loving life, there is no one I want to have that fight with besides him. Thank you for his patience, oh Lord, thank you for his patience.
And thank you for sending in all my friends who have asked us to make plans in these last few
weeks days (holy shit– sorry!) before the wedding. My instincts say “No. You should stay home and work on wedding stuff” but I really know that I would stay home and panic about things that are out of my control. So thank you for beer reviews and art museums and fish-fry dinners and 5Ks.
I know I asked for opinionated and honest people in my life many times… bet you’re gettin’ a real kick out of what I got during wedding planning. Very funny. Please help them remember that I am planning for both a wedding and a marriage. One is frustrated by silly linen choices and schedules. The other frustrated by much more personal and emotional things– the sense of loss over changing my last name even though I made (and am happy with) the decision to do so, the magnitude of joining myself to another person for life, the way events like this seem to mark a distinct passage of time in which I’ll never really lose what’s behind me but I’ll also never get it back. It is not always easy to distinguish the 2 in times of stress and I may react to schedules with the emotion I am feeling over marriage. Please grant those around me patience and understanding and never let them second guess my love for them.
Please watch over our guests in these last days and on our wedding day. Provide for them safe travels, enjoyable company, and an excellent road-trip playlist for those coming from out of state. May no plane be delayed without compensation, may no tire go flat between Fergus Falls and Saint Cloud, and may no child vomit in the back seat moments after leaving the McDonald’s drive-thru. Please help us make them feel the most loved on October 5th and make sure they remember to pack their party pants.
Please help me be watchful for and mindful of the little things that are good. Please let me ignore the little things which are hurtful, irritating, or frivolous. Let me take the dog for a long walk and swim in the beautiful Minneapolis lakes rather than be concerned about secondhand gossip. Let me find my running shoes when I need to be close to myself and close to You. Do not let the changing colors of fall go unnoticed. Make me heed the call of the shortened days and slow my life down.
Remind me that not all things can be perfect. I mean, let’s be real for a minute… You’ve made some mistakes, right?
It’s okay. Sometimes you mean to create a puppy and you end up with a hairless, black-eared, bug-eyed terror. That can apparently punch you in the face with its hind leg. We’ve all been there. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Give me the same wisdom and allow me to remind myself of one of the truisms of live that I find truest of all: if you plan too much and too detailed, you plan to be disappointed.
More than anything, please be with us on October 5th. Love everyone exactly where they are and let us take up all of the love and joy and talent and awesomesauce* in our community of friends and family.
And please, if it looks like I might fall off my bike or trip over something, can you watch out for my face and my feet? I’d really appreciate it.
*Please also make “awesomesauce” recognized by the computer dictionary so it does not always get that red squiggly misspelling line under it. I think Microsoft and I are both aware that I am spelling and using that word correctly.
One more Wedding Wednesday to go! Tomorrow we enter the single digits of the countdown. Bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Bananas.