Pee your pants funny: What was the funniest thing that happened this year? Was it funny when it happened? Or was it one of those things you laughed about later?
My sister might be mad it me for this, but she wholly embarrassed me at our wedding and then zinged me, and this is maybe the closest venue I will ever have to paying her back for that, though there is no malicious intent in the story I am about to tell– it really is one of the funniest things I heard all year and I love her dearly for sharing it with us.
Early in the year, I agreed to try downhill skiing for the first time as an adult. Aaron and I, along with my sister and her husband, went to a local ski resort together where I spent the better part of 2 hours struggling to get in and out of my skis, crying on the bunny hill, falling off the chairlift, unable to come to a stop, and yelling at Aaron. After a particularly terrifying run, in which I proclaimed my hatred for both skiing and Aaron (a lie on both fronts, I hate neither Aaron nor skiing), the four of us decided to go in and have lunch and a beer. As we were enjoying a fine brew, we got to chatting about how maybe the afternoon of skiing would go a little better after a beer or two. You know, calmed nerves, a bit more relaxed, a little more carefree. We got to talking about all the things we feel a little more confident about doing after a beer or two. Aaron and Erik found biking a bit easier and more fun after a beer, I think I shared that I found it easier to run a good race if I knew there would be beer at the end (because running after beer? Yuck!). And my sister chimed right in and said, “Oh yes! I love to sew with a glass of wine or two!”
Drunk sewing. I love it. We use the phrase often around the house when we don’t have plans:
Aaron: What are you going to do today?
Kate: Dunno. Drunk sew.
We use it when we are feeling too busy:
Aaron: Do you want to go to [insert event here]?
Kate: Can’t. So many hobbies and things to do. Gotta drunk sew.
I know my sister will read this and think we are picking on her, just like she thinks I am picking on her when I post the way Google Voice to Text has translated her voicemails and now starts every message with, “Don’t put this on your blog!” But I am not picking on her, in either situation really. So I am writing this specifically for her: We use this phrase because we think you are a funny person. Not funny looking, not poke-fun-at-her funny, but a honest-to-goodness funny person who says things that are true and funny to us. Because we don’t drunk sew and the image of you drunk sewing is one that brings us joy and laughter, lightens our mood when we are stressed, and makes us think fondly of you and your talents.
So do not call me to complain, but if you do… leave a garbled voicemail for Google to chew over.