Some people set resolutions. Some people call them intentions for the new year. Others pick the single word they want their year to be about.
You can hate on the goal-setting if you want, and wave your non-traditionalist flag loud and proud and say, “If I want to change, I can do that any ol’ day. I don’t need to set a resolution on the new year!” For sure, adventurers, you can change whenever and however you want, or simply not at all.
I think it’s nice to have a chance to reboot every year. It’s sort of what I like best about blogging the Reverb series– it is a great chance to look back and review and look forward to the coming year.
Looking fully forward into 2014, what is it that I want?
Who am I, Oprah? No. I have no Favorite Things to give to you. Or you. Or you and you and you. Sorry.
But seriously, when I thought about the list of things about myself that I wanted to sort of focus on, they all boiled down to this concept. To be honest (authentic?), much of this is driven by some of the irksome behaviors I have noticed in others that I later recognized in my own self: casting stones, gossip, fixation and obsession on desires, complaining, making others feeling guilty or shamed- even if unintentional. It’s not who I want to be.
How do I plan to AuthentiKate (see what I did there?! It’s a good one.)?
I don’t completely know. I do know I asked Aaron the other night if he thought I could go an entire month without saying one mean/judgy/rude thing about anyone, and he said, “A month? No snark, judge, or rude comment? About anyone? No.”
So… that needs some work.
Another part of the process for me is recognizing and understanding my flaws and stop apologizing for the fact that I am flawed, but only for the ways in which those flaws sometimes result in bad behavior (i.e. I am an extrovert– I am not going to apologize for that. Sometimes, I get so caught up in sharing that I fail to listen— I should apologize for that). I think another part for me will be respectful honesty. A lot of times, maybe particularly in the land of Minnesota Nice (To Your Face), I hear people make excuses for another person’s habitual disrespectful behavior. “Oh, So-N-So? She’s always late. Don’t expect her to be on time. Just get used to it.” I am not interested in getting “used to” someone’s rudeness. I can confront them without being confrontational. I just have to fine-tune the tools to do so and find my own ‘forgiveness vs. stick up for myself’ barometer.
Self-improvement is healthy and a lifelong process of accepting where you are and being excited about where you want to go.