I have been slow to write this post because I really wanted to finish the Reverb 14 posts, but the remaining prompts just aren’t inspiring to the point that I really feel like I have something new to say. I will keep them in my “Drafts” folder for a while and maybe I will finish them up, but there is no reason not to start looking forward to the next year!
I love fresh starts and new plans and adventures, so, to me, the new year is essentially glittered ponies with rainbow hair. I like the idea that I can neatly tie a bow around the box of 2014, store it next to all the other years that make me think “This life is nice!”, and then put my full energy and self into 2015.
This year I have several goals that I want to achieve, some of which are easy to measure and some of which are more intuition-based. Some I will share with others, and some I will work on privately. I do feel like all of them challenge me, and I am happy that I chose some things that will require some real resolve, planning, and intention on my part. More importantly, because I have more than one goal, I wanted to have a central ‘theme’ that I felt all goals worked towards, so that even if individual battles were lost, I still felt like I was marching towards the same outcome. I chose a phrase from my most favorite book, The Little Prince, to guide my 2015:
You have great truths within you.
It is not my goal to change who I am. It is not my goal to be someone else. It is not even my goal to be a “better” Kate. But it is my goal to live the truths within me– to continue to be more unapologetically myself, to pursue the things that give me energy, to speak and act in the ways that truly reflect my intentions.
It sometimes surprises me that any teenage girl makes it to adulthood intact, because I remember years of being embarrassed about who I was– whether it was my body, my knack for chronic academic overachievement, zits, my hobbies– the list of things the world tells girls and young women to be embarrassed about is never-ending. But now that I am slowly sliding out of young-adulthood into just regular adulthood I have learned that there is no such thing as a grown-up. We are all just pretending as we go along. And, dude, no one likes cleaning cat puke off the stairs. And no one likes paying the phone bill. And even if your job is awesome (mine is!), some days it totally sucks balls to get out of bed in the morning.
So, frankly, I don’t have time to pretend to like stuff I that don’t, or lie about the stuff I do like because it’s weird.
I am going to spend 2015 doing me. You do you. It’s gonna be righteous.